Cancer is an Ass

It was 11:40 am when I began to get ready for my surgery. I got a phone call from Baylor and they asked me if I was enroute to the hospital. I replied, "no" and the asked "why?" they informed me that I was scheduled for surgery at 11:15am. That's not what I was told and what the paperwork states. So me and Ana hurried and got our stuff together. Got to Baylor Uptown pretty fast. Nice hospital. They got me in and prepped pretty fast. Talked to my anesthealogist and said he was giving me the good drugs. Not the Walmart type of drugs but the Target type. If I was going to get cut open, the drugs are the best part. To bad it's down hill from there. Next thing you know I'm waking up not knowing where I was at and my back is hurting. They had to cut me open and biopsy the S1 vertebrae. The sacrum....it's right near where the butt crack starts. Cancer is an ass!!
So I'm laying down in my room with my brother, mom, and Ana. Finally getting to eat around 8:45 pm. I haven't had any food since 11pm the night before. You know this fat boy is hungry!!!
I didnt realize that I couldnt walk and I need to go use the restroom. So the man nurse gave me a urinal and I asked Ana how I am supposed to use this. She refused. Everyone left the room except my brother. I couldnt pee. I know it wasn't stage frieght. It had to be the way I was laying in bed. So I had Chris make my bed go all the way up as if I was sitting. Still no drop. So we tried laying the bed all the way down. I got Chris to google what muscle helps you pee. I was getting desperate. 15 minutes later I had a successful urination. Chris had to get the urinal and empty it. What a good brother. This is the first time I have ever spent the night at a hospital. Whatever it takes. Murse just gave me some pain meds. Supposed to make me sleepy. Signing off..